Joy to start the day

The air, crisp and sharp,
Darkest Black the clearest of skies.
Imagination, wild and running,
I see my capabilities, harsh and stunning.

Under the influence of the death fairy,
Depression pulls me from my bed.
I can feel the heat disappear,
Replaced with goose bumps in my cold house.

Operating under the controlling force,
The trudging march I take to the door.
The mist from warm breath, from the warm sun,
Gives an image of the depth of enjoyment.

Rolling down my rosy pink cheeks,
The tears they begin to freeze,
Produced by the feeling of meaning,
Lost in the maze of cascading white clouds,
It consumes me with delight

Crunching on the path,
The only sound of reality,
As time has stopped in this kingdom of sun,
My heart is at home in this pretended paradise.

The connection is broken,
I no longer care,
Or continually ask, why, why it feels forever,
Negativity is the cause of this acidic sever.

The separation complete from body and soul,
It's calling me and then under I go.
The stinging sheath, just above me,
Realization, I try to break free.

Grasping for the surface, the sensation numbs me,
No strength, no faith,
A smooth wall, for this enclosure,
Hands gliding a cup, a silent cry,
Gasp for breath, filling my lungs with knives.

From the edge I stare, at the anguished eyes beneath,
Begging for help, but there I stay,
I stand and wave goodbye,
Looking and waiting, wanting to die.

Fingertips searching for an open door.
Of the sunshine and happiness that once was there,
Oblivious to my surroundings, I become,
The clawing nails drift away, I have succumb.

I fall silently to the bottom,
All that is left to hear,
Is the beat of my heart, loose its pace?
Quietly fade away to nothing, to stop this race.

Squashed underneath the reflective of myself.
I awake with a start it was all a bad dream...
But wait, I feel the warmth of a far off sun-ray.
Brings somewhat joy to start the day.